Processing Loss with Meaningful Making

You may have noticed the big gap between March and October in post to this blog. I'm gearing up with a few blog posts, but wanted to share why the long absence from our Create Make Learn community. 

At the beginning of March, my dad went into hospice. I flew back to Vermont, and was able to join my sisters  journeying with our dad during this phase of life.  He died March 25th.  His funeral was held April 2, 2022

One month later, my mom had a sudden hemorrhagic stroke. She held on long enough for my 4 sisters and I to be with her when she died on May 3, 2022  (a month after my dad's funeral).  We spent the next couple month trying to grasp the sudden loss of both our parents and planning mom's celebration of life for July 31, 2022

I cancelled all my professional commitments, including Create Make Learn Summer Institute.

It would have been our 10th anniversary. 

Less than two years prior I had my first experience processing loss of a family member through making when my dear 26 year old niece lost a brief but furious fight with cancer. 

I blogged about the experience of creating and making as part of processing loss.

During the past few months processing the loss of my parents, I did not shy away from creating and making -- and thought a lot about how meaningful making can contribute to both processing loss and finding joy in challenging times. 

In preparing for my dad's funeral, I created two keychains.  Most of my dad's career has been in auto sales. Until weeks before he died, he was actively involved in managing his GMC dealership -  deLaBruere's Auto Sales and showed up with lunch for the staff every Thursday.  So I created two renditions of a keychain that we gave out at his funeral.  One version was for those who bought a car from my dad and the other was for anyone else.  I used a medium maple plywood  and my GlowForge to make about 100 of each. 

It was not about the product, but the process of making these that was particularly meaningful to me during this time of saying goodbye to a man who I attribute to my commitment to project based learning.     My dad loved to be engaged in a project.  It's how he lived his life.  When one project finished, he quickly became engaged in a new project.  We still laugh about the year that he decided his project was going to be to MOVE THE POND.  So whenever I take on a project that others don't understand  - I often answer - "I'm not sure why, but it just seemed to be a "move the pond' project. 

A very dear cousin of ours mentored us through the journey of my dad's final days. We were less than month into the grieving process when we got the call from the hospital that my mom had arrived at the ER after suffering a major hemorrhagic stroke. They were born a month apart and both died at 82, a month apart. 

While planning my mom's celebration of life, I knew I would make something, but it took me a little longer to decide what to make.   Mom loved butterflies and  they became a prominent theme in the celebration we were planning. My sister planned a release of 82 monarch butterflies.   I found a beautiful 3D butterfly design on ETSY and created a table decoration that held a prayer card and a memory seed packet.   Even though I did not design it myself,  I found the process of modifying it and creating 100 table decoration a very meaningful experience and a way to add a piece that was uniquely my contribution to the day's event.  I used my Cricut Maker to prototype, but ended up using my Glowforge laser cutter to cut a batch of 100 purple ones and 100 white ones.  With a little dab of glue I was able to add jeweled stickers for a final touch. 

Along with the butterfly envelopes, I also created a digital creation that we used to kick off storytelling during mom's celebration of life.  For this project I used Canva Video and WeVideo., It was my first time using Canva's video tool and I enjoyed learning some tips and tricks end up with a 5 minute media piece that celebrated so many parts of who mom was to so many. 

It's been almost 3 months since mom's celebration of life, and I'm just starting to move back into  professional projects.  I am even more committed to the concept that hands on meaningful making needs to be part of our journey in life.   And as John Dewey has taught us -  Education is LIFE (not just preparation for life) - so let's infuse it with meaningful making.